Posts Tagged With: stupid

Would You Lay Off?

In case you hadn’t heard, Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy.

This is what some guys on Twitter had to say about it:

If you don’t understand why she, or any other person with breasts for that matter, decided to go ahead and have the procedure done, then see the below comic:

Angelina made a careful medical decision to protect herself from the risk of breast cancer. Instead of praising Angelina on her bravery or commending her on being so open about it in such a toxic, judgmental society, there’s thousands of people making comments about her breasts themselves. Some joking, some serious, some speculating that her partner will leave her because she’s somehow less of a woman without her natural breasts, some just plain offensive: sexist, misogynistic and holyfuckingwhoa chauvinistic.

Seriously… what is wrong with people?

This woman is trying to prevent a fatal illness that she knows she has the gene for, and has had a family member die from. By having her breasts removed, her chances of getting breast cancer went from 87 % to under 5%. Why does her worth tie into whether or not she has breasts? Isn’t she worth anything as a woman and a person? It’s time for society to grow the fuck up. This woman, and others like her, is fearless.

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“I wanted to write this to tell other women that the decision to have a mastectomy was not easy. But it is one I am very happy that I made. My chances of developing breast cancer have dropped from 87 percent to under 5 percent. I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer. It is reassuring that they see nothing that makes them uncomfortable. They can see my small scars and that’s it. Everything else is just Mommy, the same as she always was. And they know that I love them and will do anything to be with them as long as I can. On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”

– Angelina Jolie

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Derrp

So I went out with some friends this past weekend, and my friend and I got told that we were exotic looking when I revealed that I was of Indian origin to this dude on the street. HOW is that a compliment even? And really though, if you break it down and analyze why it’s being said then it will strike you that there’s more of my people on this planet than there are of you. So really, you’re the exotic one.

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GoT: Don’t Be Hatin’ On Sansa

Sansa Stark of Game of Thrones gets a lot of hate.

And I mean, a loooooot of hate.

She’s so stupid and weak and such a crybaby” etc etc etc.

Oh GoT fans who hate Sansa, you are all too quick to judge. Strength doesn’t necessary come only from brute force or boldness or assertiveness. There are many ways one can be strong, and Sansa Stark shows us hows it’s done perfectly. She may not carry a sword, sure, but that doesn’t make her weak. There are, shockingly, many other valid ways to show the world that you have some ovaries. And not all of them involve renouncing ladylike things, like Arya.

I’ll admit that her character isn’t entirely likeable in the beginning but she isn’t stupid by any means. Naive, sure. A bit silly, caught up in her fantasies of noble lords and “true knights.” I mean, you could argue that Jon Snow is equally silly for assuming the Night’s Watch and its men would all be bastions of nobility and honor, but nobody takes that as a reason to wish he’d be raped and killed. And Sansa is eleven years old. She believed in the fantasies of brave, handsome princes that were laid out in the songs she loved so much because they were all she knew. She believed that she could achieve the life she wanted – achieve happiness, achieve love – if she just followed the expectations Westerosi society has for girls. And then she realized that the role was a trap, that she had been lied to, and she still found a way to work the role, twisting it to be in her best interests. And that’s stupid?

Sansa proves herself to have a ton of emotional intelligence. She has learned quickly what it takes to survive in King’s Landing, even when the result of that lesson was her father’s head on a spike. She plays Joffrey’s own stupidity and vanity against him. She successfully navigates incredibly dangerous and tricky courtly situations where one slip means death. She spins stories and hides the truth and pretends to be far more innocent and naive than she truly is. None of that suggests a stupid person. What I like about her is that she went through so much and came out stronger. It’s really too bad that more people don’t realize that. But a lot of people judge female characters on shows a bit more harsher than they do the male characters. For example: Catelyn is stupid for caring too much about her family, which is so annoying, but when Ned Stark makes mistakes based on family he’s just a stand-up honorable guy. Cersei is an evil whore but Jaime is kewl and a badass. Bro-type fans are crappy that way but it’s more disappointing when you see that kind of hate coming from female fans too.

Be that as it may, all you haters can go suck on a lemon. Sansa is not a force to be ignored, and anyone who thinks she’s weak or useless needs to sit down and reassess their view of this girl who’s been robbed of the life she used to know, who has come out of the other side with winter in her bones waiting to swallow the Lannisters whole.

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“That’s not how you play the game. You don’t just blurt out the right answer.”
– Sansa Stark

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Shhhh..

“Hey I’m not racist or anything, but I’m going to keep repeating all the same racist messages, words, stereotypes, and jokes that I’ve internalized since childhood. I’ve personally risen above it all though – I just do it because it’s absurd”

Pfft, sure.

Let’s take a gander at what it really means

  • “I’m not Racist, but (insert racist shit here)” – So, obviously I am a racist because I just said something incredibly racist, but totally don’t want to take the title racist, so guess what, I’m just gonna say I’m not a racist and hope you’re stupid enough to believe me. Don’t call me out though, you see, we have this thing called Reverse Racism that we made up and we’re gonna use that on you.
  • “That’s Reverse Racism” – Although my reasons for disliking you are completely about my belief that you’re inferior and your reasons are out of being made inferior, I’m going to call them the same thing. I’m going to tell you that Affirmative Action is an example of Reverse Racism, but get this, Affirmative Action was created to level out the centuries upon centuries that I have had a head start in comparison to you.
  • “You can say nigga, but not me, that’s not fair” – Neither is the fact that I’m much less likely to get pulled over by the police and I can be a felon and still have a better chance at getting hired against your crime-free record, but hey, this isn’t about me! I’m more concerned with taking the one thing you can do that I can’t, which by the way, came out of centuries of oppression and cruelty. I don’t like that you can use a word that has historically hurt you, but I can’t use the same word, even though I’m the one who used it to hurt you.
  • “Appropriation? No, I just love your culture.” – I just really saw some cute Indian headband shit at Urban Outfitters and was completely unaware that it was your culture until you pointed it out. But keeping up with a summer trend is way more important than your people and the sacred meanings behind your accessories. come fall, new shit is gonna be out and your culture is going to be in my trash can but hey , I’m still appreciating you! Feel appreciated, damnit!
  • “I have Black People in my family/as friends.”– My racism is so apparent that I have to resort to the measure of bringing up a cousin by marriage on my aunt’s husband’s stepson’s side or a guy my science teacher made me do a project with as evidence that I don’t discriminate against Black People. And you know, slave masters and colonizers totally didn’t procreate with their victim.
  • “There’s a Black History Month, but no White History Month” – So, get this lawls! We actually do have a White History Month, but we’re just so fucking selfish that we decided to branch it off into subcategories (German, Italian, Polish, Italian, etc.) but you know, we’re still going to play the victim role here. Also, you have plenty of history that we either neglect or steal, so we’re just going to not discuss you in any of our history books, but get mad when you actually try to celebrate the history of yours that we’ve distorted.

Source

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Curious

Fact: I like to talk a lot about social justice issues – mainly ones that involve gender but not limited to just this area. And for that, I suppose there are people who might roll their eyes and wish I would shut up and give it a rest already, but I’ll have you know that I’m not constantly complaining all the time. In fact, through a trial and error process, I have learned to choose my moments, decipher the type of crowd I’m in and gauge how receptive they will be to my thoughts and opinions and hope to god that when I do, I won’t be branded a party pooper or a feminazi. I have yet to master the skill of speaking up regardless of what the crowd will think of me though. My blog on the other hand is different altogether, because this is the one outlet I can use to truly express my myself, not without judgement of course, but without having to potentially “bore and burden” people around me with the topics I write about on here.

Having said that, it’s curious to me that people would wonder why it is that I choose to write/talk mostly about the struggles of women. Is it not weirder still that I wouldn’t? And isn’t it even more weird that people would tire of hearing me voice myself than tire of the system that has caused me to raise my voice? It’s interesting to me how people fail to make that association. Maybe I wouldn’t be such a damn whiner if I honestly didn’t have anything to complain about but unfortunately that’s not the case. Consider this: who among us has ever wanted to speak about such things? As Andrea Gibson would say, “What little girl dreams of growing up to write ‘rape poems?’ About violence? About the muffled voices of women worldwide?” To not speak about it is more questionable to me, and really, isn’t that what we should be rolling our eyes at?

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Erhm..

[TW: Sexual Assault, rape culture, victim blaming]

"His lips crushed mine, stopping my protest. He kissed me angrily, roughly, 
his other hand gripping tight around the back of my neck, making escape 
impossible. I shoved against his chest with all my strength, but he didn’t 
even seem to notice. His mouth was soft, despite the anger, his lips molding 
to mine in a warm, unfamiliar way.

I grabbed at his face, trying to push it away, failing again. He seemed to 
notice this time, though, and it aggravated him. His lips forced mine open, 
and I could feel his hot breath in my mouth. Acting on instinct, I let my 
hands drop to my side, and shut down. I opened my eyes and didn’t fight, 
didn’t feel… just waited for him to stop.”

This, my lovelies, is an excerpt from Twilight.

Yes, you read that right.

Doesn’t it sound like a woman’s account of how she was about to be raped? I was definitely not excepting this to be a passage from a teen romance novel.  Young women are taught to think of this passage – which describes sexual assault – as erotic. Young men are taught to force their will on young women, regardless of any verbal or non-verbal cues for progression, because that’s what they’re taught as sexy and masculine. What ends up happening here? Take a wild guess.

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The lines before that:

He still had my chin — his fingers holding too tight, till it hurt — and I saw 
the resolve form abruptly in his eyes. 
“N—-” I started to object, but it was too late. 
(red flag: lack of consent)

And after he assaulted her she punched him in the face but due to his “super human strength” she broke her hand, said”

“Don’t touch me!” and then:
“Just let me drive you home,” Jacob insisted. Unbelievably, he had the 
nerve to wrap his arm around my waist.
I jerked away from him.
(red flag: lack of consent)

And then:

When he got in the driver’s side, he was whistling. 
(rape culture)

AND THEN while he was driving:

“…There is so much I can give you that he can’t. I’ll bet he couldn't 
even kiss you like that—-because he would hurt you. I would never, 
never hurt you, Bella.” 
(nice guy syndrome)
I held up my injured hand.
He sighed. “That wasn’t my fault. You should have known better.” 
(victim blaming)

And then:

He grinned over at me. “You kissed me back.”
I gasped, unthinkingly balling my hands up into fists again, 
hissing when my broken hand reacted.
“Are you okay?” he asked. 
“I did not.”
“I think I can tell the difference.”
“Obviously you can’t——that was not kissing back, that was trying 
to get you the hell off me, you idiot.”
He laughed a low, throaty laugh. 
“Touchy. Almost overly defensive, I would say. 
(rape culture)
I took a deep breath. There was no point in arguing with him; 
he would twist anything I said.

Then when she gets home, to where her father, Charlie, the police officer, is:

“Why did she hit you?”
“Because I kissed her,” Jacob said, unashamed.
“Good for you, kid,” Charlie congratulated him. 
(rape culture)

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I found this post on Tumblr and had to blog about it. Granted that I haven’t read any of the books and so my judgement of them cannot be entirely justified but look at those passages!  They are so DISTURBING. And yay – this is just one passage from a chapter of one of the four ludicrous Twilight books! And that’s not even the worst part. The worst part is that Bella and Edwards relationship is even more disturbing: 

I tried reading the books but my brain begged to explode after I got past the second chapter of what I like to call mindless dribble. And now we have to clean up the mess made by the Fifty Shades of Grey series as well, which incidentally began as Twilight fanficiton. Now let me stop you before you jump down my throat. I am very pro-erotic-fiction, but Fifty Shades of Grey sends out some alarmingly bad messages.

Look at the major themes of the novel — abuse from a spouse is acceptable as long as he’s great in bed, consent isn’t necessary and sometimes you have to suck it up and engage in sexual acts you’re not ready to do because your man is horny and doesn’t care about your silly opinion, that pregnancies should always be carried to term even if the parents are not ready to be parents, and the ridiculously antiquated, Victorian idea that the love of a pure virgin can save a wayward man from himself. These messages are irrational, unbelievable and dangerous.

The books also misrepresent BDSM, Dom/Sub culture, and glorifies the abuse that actual mentoring and training eliminates. Christian Grey ignores basic safe-sex practices, does not establish limits and disregards the use of safe words. Writing fictional crap like this is scary. People of all sexes, all ages, and all walks of life might be influenced or tempted to start a Dom/Sub relationship based on this book; may be more likely to prey on individuals deemed ‘weaker’ than they are; might stay in a shitty, abusive relationship because apparently, that is what love looks like.

We need some serious damage control here, but where to start is the question.

Now with the movie being set into production, I wonder what fresh hell that will release..

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Take Your “Just Joking” And Shove It

Do you have a right to say terrible things? Of course! That’s the beauty of free speech. You can say whatever the damn hell you please and if you offend someone, you can say “oh, jk jk hee hee!’ And apparently if you say that, all will be forgiven.

No. Not today.

Today I am calling you assholes out.

Just because you can say anything you want, whenever and however, it does not block you from hearing why it is you’re a jerk for having said it. Don’t act all shocked when other people exercise their right to say exactly what it is they thought of your marvelous statement because guess what? Freedom of speech baby.

“I think we can all recognize that the “it’s a joke excuse” is the most dismissive, self-righteous loophole, created by those who refuse to examine their power, and assume they have not only the right to say whatever they want to people, but the right to control how other people react to what they have said.”

– Loose Talk

Still don’t get it? Here’s an article on the 6 types of apologies that aren’t really apologies

Freedom of speech does not equal speech without criticism.

Stop with the excuses, start with the apologies. 

Also, don’t be this guy. We know exactly what you’re doing:

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Just.. No

Why would you think it’s clever to make a poster like this? The logic is completely flawed.

If you’ve ever read the Harry Potter books m’dear, then you’ll know that if Harry was never in the picture, Neville Longbottom would instead be chosen to kill Voldemort. I suggest you read the books again because clearly the point went right over your little head. For a visual demonstration of this, please see the below image:

 

Also, are we really resorting to fictional characters for the pro-life agenda? Yikes..

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The Nice Guy Syndrome

Last weekend, I had a very bad experience with a guy who had a serious case of “The Nice Guy Syndrome”. To put it simply, The Nice Guy pretends to be your friend so that he can eventually wheedle his way into your pants. Suffice it to say that I have cut all ties with said Nice Guy but I think it’s important that I bring to light this very prominent issue. Most Nice Guys don’t think they’re wrong, and this was true in my case. He didn’t even realize his mistake. Only when I called him up and gave him a tongue lashing did he consider how wrong his actions were and acknowledge that his behavior was extremely disturbing. Unfortunately, I highly suspect his apologies were given only for my benefit. I don’t think he believes he did anything wrong.

Definition: Nice Guy Syndrome is an annoying mental condition in which a heterosexual man concocts overly simplified ideas why woman aren’t flocking to him in droves. He will whine about how women never want to date him because he’s “too nice” and that women only want to be with guys that treat them like shit. In reality, he isn’t very nice. His “nice deeds” (like taking you out, helping you with your daily activities, being a “friend”) are motivated as attempts to passively please women into a relationship/sex. In short, his niceness is self-interested, and it contributes to his sense of entitlement when it comes to dating and sex.

What Nice Guys fail to realize is that girls don’t want to date a jerk, and when they do, it is accidental and not become of some weird desire to be treated like crap (and don’t bring up girls who go back to their abusive partners – abuse is complicated and not related to this). They just want to date guys that are genuinely nice. What women really want in men is a whole other topic which I won’t post about since I’ll digress and plus, this is already circling the interwebs.

So here it is. The raw, real truth. 

Are you listening?

The truth, Mr. Nice Guy is this…

……

………….

YOU’RE NOT ACTUALLY NICE.

You’re a prick who could have been rejected for many reasons, but I’m going to say it’s probably because you’re a misogynistic asshole. Maybe if you quit being a jerk, more girls would go for you. And even if they don’t, you still don’t have a reason to call them bitches who don’t know what’s good for them. Instead of looking at why they are the problem, examine yourself and see what it is about you that’s making them run in the opposite direction. Take a freaking hint!

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Also, I’m all for shaming “nice-guys” like this:

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Perfect Love

Life isn’t perfect. The best things in life are hard to come by, and they don’t come without a struggle. But nothing will deter us from our pursuit of perfection. For example, a vast majority of us believe in finding the perfect job. The kind of job that you are eager to wake up to, is within close distance to you, the kind of place that inspires, challenges, and supports you. Your coworkers are great people, and your boss is your muse/mentor. This perfect job entails earning a wonderful salary that allows you to afford everything you desire. It even provides ample free time in which you can enjoy all of this money you’re making. Your job should be the envy of the world, and with it, you should live happily ever after.

I know very few people who are highly satisfied with their jobs. But finding the perfect job is hard because it doesn’t exist; at least not over the span of an entire lifetime. This concept of “perfectness” is pushed down our throats in other areas of our lives as well. And in the case of love, I think it can be particularly problematic.

Once we grow up a bit and see the that the world isn’t as shiny as we thought it was, we’re willing to accept that most great life choices (where we live, what career we pursue, who we choose as friends, etc) include ups and downs. There is no “correct” choice we can make that guarantees us having it all. And yet, we are quick to believe (through entertainment, “talks” about love and marriage, or just the images we are shown daily) the idea that real love is a flowing river of deep affection and affirmations. “We shouldn’t settle for anything less than The One,” we say. “The Right One is out there waiting for you”, we say. These ideas fill the bulk of our childhoods, spill over into our adolescence and is constantly reinforced by every movie we’ve ever seen.

I really think this idea of “The One” sets people up for heart break. If you live under the pressure of fulfilling a prophecy of “soulmates,” you could be doomed to spend years repeating the same mistakes in a given relationship without any self-reflection. Here’s the truth everyone: “The One” doesn’t exist, and never will. There is no person who is going to sweep you off your feet and carry you off to that utopian paradise without consequences or compromises. Compromises, in fact, may be the closest you’ll ever get to finding “The One”. If you have someone who makes you want to be a better person, and who actively works on becoming a better person themselves; someone who learns to put you first from time to time (and vice versa), who does so joyfully, then you have picked yourself a clear winner – a real-life knight in shining armor. But that by no means implies that you will have a fairy tale ending.

There shouldn’t be a “perfect” image of anything that we’re chasing after in life, as it’s so clear to all of us how very un-perfect life often proves to be. But it seems profoundly dangerous to set such limiting goals for something as complicated as love between two human beings that is supposed to last a lifetime. Dating is hard enough as it is, the last thing we need to be doing is recreating a Bollywood movie.

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Not sure if it really exists Carrie, but it sure sounds enticing:

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