Posts Tagged With: people

Are You Though?

“I’m just being honest”

How many people do we know say that right before they say something pretty hurtful? I can think of a few. I’m pretty sure I’m a culprit of doing this myself.

While being honest is an excellent quality to have as part of your repertoire, we can’t neglect that it can sometimes stem from a desire to cause someone pain, thus cloaking its true nature under the intent of being truthful. Of course, the truth does hurt sometimes, and often times the truth needs to be heard. But we can control how that truth is packaged. Words can cut like knives and you can very easily bury your relationship with the verbal cuts of a “truthful” tongue.

So are you being honest or are you using it as a platform to gleefully throw knives at someone from behind the force-field of “honesty”? Here’s how to distinguish between the two: If you want to be an asshole the wrong kind of honest, then go ahead and stomp on that person you’re trying to hurt while pretending you’re doing them a favor by being honest. But if you want to be the right kind of honest, then evaluate the situation and balance your desire to be direct with the other person’s right to be treated with respect.

There is no need for the truth to be delivered in an overly harsh manner and certainly not at the expense of someone’s feelings. Whether you are masking your own insecurity by putting someone else down or lashing out in anger, the way in which you choose to package and deliver your words in the heat of a storm says more about you than your claims of taking the moral high ground. Sure, it feels good to expunge your negative energy under the veil of honesty, but know that you’re not inherently trying to benefit the other person and that you may very well pay a terrible price for this temporary satisfaction.

Ask yourself the three things you must always ask yourself before you say anything:
1) “Does this need to be said?”
2) “Does this need to be said by me?
3) “Does this need to be said by me now?

Consider whether what you intend to say or do will be helpful and constructive to the other person and your relationship or not. If you’re speaking out of a place of anger, then you’re single-handedly tearing out the roots of that relationship. But if you’re speaking from the most vulnerable part of your emotional core that isn’t tainted by hurt, anger or sadness, then you’re turning conflict into connection, and fostering a relationship based on the right kind of honesty.

honesty


“Your conscience is the measure of the honesty of your selfishness. Listen to it carefully.”

— Richard Bach

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“Reverse Racism”

There is no such thing.

When discussing racial slurs or anything race-related, the question of whether you can be racist towards white people is often raised. After all, terms like  “honky” or “cracker,” are frequently used to degrade whites so why don’t more people get as upset over it as they would when white people use words like “nigger.”

Ok so slurs against white people are quite obviously inappropriate and offensive, and people really should refrain from being assholes as much as possible but really, these words are so just so damn silly, so utterly pathetic that they hardly qualify as racial slurs at all, let alone slurs on a par with those that have been historically deployed against people of color. POC have little or no power over white people institutionally; we haven’t ever defined the terms of their existence, we haven’t ever limited their opportunities, and so white folks don’t need to worry much about the use of a slur to describe them since, in all likelihood, the slur is as far as it’s going to go.

So whereas “nigger” was and is a term used by whites to dehumanize blacks, to imply their inferiority, to “put them in their place” if you will, the same cannot be said of honky: after all, you can’t put white people in their place when they own the place to begin with. People argue this point by saying that racism is discriminating against someone because of their race, but this is where they’re fundamentally wrong. Prejudice is one person discriminating against another person because of their race (and or other factors). Racism is the systemic discrimination against and oppression of people of color by white people. No such systemic oppression of white people by people of color exists. So ‘racism’ against white people cannot logically be a thing.

The day that someone produces a newspaper ad that reads: “Twenty honkies for sale today: good condition, best offer accepted,” or “Cracker to be lynched tonight: whistled at black woman,” maybe then I’ll consider the concept of “reverse racism”. When white churches start getting burned down by militant blacks and browns who spray paint “kill the honkies” on the sidewalks outside, then maybe I’ll take seriously these concerns over “reverse racism.” Until then, that shit don’t exist.

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A Conversation

Cultural Appropriation: A conversation by Sanaa Hamid

This body of work is an exploration of the extent of cultural appropriation and encourages a discussion about it. I give the appropriator and the appropriated the opportunity to defend themselves and create a dialogue between them, while maintaining a neutral stance myself. I am not attacking those who appropriate, merely educating and creating awareness. Neutrality is key in this series, as i remove myself from my political and social status and opinions, stripping the problem to the most basic issue; taking an item that means a great deal to somebody and corrupting it.

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What Not To Do

People of Earth! I am Lrrr of the planet Omicron P and…

OK I’m watching way too much Futurama. 

Let me rephrase: People of Earth! Watch this video:

I think being part of the LGBT community must be incredibly hard, not just for the most obvious reasons, but because they must get asked so many stupid questions by so many stupid people every day. It’s called the internet people! Use it. Anyway, this guy is a gem, and his video’s are both eye-opening and funny. So if you’re looking to drop your archaic assumptions about homosexuality, and gay men in particular, then drop by his channel and educate yoself!

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Would You Lay Off?

In case you hadn’t heard, Angelina Jolie had a double mastectomy.

This is what some guys on Twitter had to say about it:

If you don’t understand why she, or any other person with breasts for that matter, decided to go ahead and have the procedure done, then see the below comic:

Angelina made a careful medical decision to protect herself from the risk of breast cancer. Instead of praising Angelina on her bravery or commending her on being so open about it in such a toxic, judgmental society, there’s thousands of people making comments about her breasts themselves. Some joking, some serious, some speculating that her partner will leave her because she’s somehow less of a woman without her natural breasts, some just plain offensive: sexist, misogynistic and holyfuckingwhoa chauvinistic.

Seriously… what is wrong with people?

This woman is trying to prevent a fatal illness that she knows she has the gene for, and has had a family member die from. By having her breasts removed, her chances of getting breast cancer went from 87 % to under 5%. Why does her worth tie into whether or not she has breasts? Isn’t she worth anything as a woman and a person? It’s time for society to grow the fuck up. This woman, and others like her, is fearless.

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“I wanted to write this to tell other women that the decision to have a mastectomy was not easy. But it is one I am very happy that I made. My chances of developing breast cancer have dropped from 87 percent to under 5 percent. I can tell my children that they don’t need to fear they will lose me to breast cancer. It is reassuring that they see nothing that makes them uncomfortable. They can see my small scars and that’s it. Everything else is just Mommy, the same as she always was. And they know that I love them and will do anything to be with them as long as I can. On a personal note, I do not feel any less of a woman. I feel empowered that I made a strong choice that in no way diminishes my femininity.”

– Angelina Jolie

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Tender Thoughts

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Derrp

So I went out with some friends this past weekend, and my friend and I got told that we were exotic looking when I revealed that I was of Indian origin to this dude on the street. HOW is that a compliment even? And really though, if you break it down and analyze why it’s being said then it will strike you that there’s more of my people on this planet than there are of you. So really, you’re the exotic one.

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GoT: Don’t Be Hatin’ On Sansa

Sansa Stark of Game of Thrones gets a lot of hate.

And I mean, a loooooot of hate.

She’s so stupid and weak and such a crybaby” etc etc etc.

Oh GoT fans who hate Sansa, you are all too quick to judge. Strength doesn’t necessary come only from brute force or boldness or assertiveness. There are many ways one can be strong, and Sansa Stark shows us hows it’s done perfectly. She may not carry a sword, sure, but that doesn’t make her weak. There are, shockingly, many other valid ways to show the world that you have some ovaries. And not all of them involve renouncing ladylike things, like Arya.

I’ll admit that her character isn’t entirely likeable in the beginning but she isn’t stupid by any means. Naive, sure. A bit silly, caught up in her fantasies of noble lords and “true knights.” I mean, you could argue that Jon Snow is equally silly for assuming the Night’s Watch and its men would all be bastions of nobility and honor, but nobody takes that as a reason to wish he’d be raped and killed. And Sansa is eleven years old. She believed in the fantasies of brave, handsome princes that were laid out in the songs she loved so much because they were all she knew. She believed that she could achieve the life she wanted – achieve happiness, achieve love – if she just followed the expectations Westerosi society has for girls. And then she realized that the role was a trap, that she had been lied to, and she still found a way to work the role, twisting it to be in her best interests. And that’s stupid?

Sansa proves herself to have a ton of emotional intelligence. She has learned quickly what it takes to survive in King’s Landing, even when the result of that lesson was her father’s head on a spike. She plays Joffrey’s own stupidity and vanity against him. She successfully navigates incredibly dangerous and tricky courtly situations where one slip means death. She spins stories and hides the truth and pretends to be far more innocent and naive than she truly is. None of that suggests a stupid person. What I like about her is that she went through so much and came out stronger. It’s really too bad that more people don’t realize that. But a lot of people judge female characters on shows a bit more harsher than they do the male characters. For example: Catelyn is stupid for caring too much about her family, which is so annoying, but when Ned Stark makes mistakes based on family he’s just a stand-up honorable guy. Cersei is an evil whore but Jaime is kewl and a badass. Bro-type fans are crappy that way but it’s more disappointing when you see that kind of hate coming from female fans too.

Be that as it may, all you haters can go suck on a lemon. Sansa is not a force to be ignored, and anyone who thinks she’s weak or useless needs to sit down and reassess their view of this girl who’s been robbed of the life she used to know, who has come out of the other side with winter in her bones waiting to swallow the Lannisters whole.

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“That’s not how you play the game. You don’t just blurt out the right answer.”
– Sansa Stark

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Shhhh..

“Hey I’m not racist or anything, but I’m going to keep repeating all the same racist messages, words, stereotypes, and jokes that I’ve internalized since childhood. I’ve personally risen above it all though – I just do it because it’s absurd”

Pfft, sure.

Let’s take a gander at what it really means

  • “I’m not Racist, but (insert racist shit here)” – So, obviously I am a racist because I just said something incredibly racist, but totally don’t want to take the title racist, so guess what, I’m just gonna say I’m not a racist and hope you’re stupid enough to believe me. Don’t call me out though, you see, we have this thing called Reverse Racism that we made up and we’re gonna use that on you.
  • “That’s Reverse Racism” – Although my reasons for disliking you are completely about my belief that you’re inferior and your reasons are out of being made inferior, I’m going to call them the same thing. I’m going to tell you that Affirmative Action is an example of Reverse Racism, but get this, Affirmative Action was created to level out the centuries upon centuries that I have had a head start in comparison to you.
  • “You can say nigga, but not me, that’s not fair” – Neither is the fact that I’m much less likely to get pulled over by the police and I can be a felon and still have a better chance at getting hired against your crime-free record, but hey, this isn’t about me! I’m more concerned with taking the one thing you can do that I can’t, which by the way, came out of centuries of oppression and cruelty. I don’t like that you can use a word that has historically hurt you, but I can’t use the same word, even though I’m the one who used it to hurt you.
  • “Appropriation? No, I just love your culture.” – I just really saw some cute Indian headband shit at Urban Outfitters and was completely unaware that it was your culture until you pointed it out. But keeping up with a summer trend is way more important than your people and the sacred meanings behind your accessories. come fall, new shit is gonna be out and your culture is going to be in my trash can but hey , I’m still appreciating you! Feel appreciated, damnit!
  • “I have Black People in my family/as friends.”– My racism is so apparent that I have to resort to the measure of bringing up a cousin by marriage on my aunt’s husband’s stepson’s side or a guy my science teacher made me do a project with as evidence that I don’t discriminate against Black People. And you know, slave masters and colonizers totally didn’t procreate with their victim.
  • “There’s a Black History Month, but no White History Month” – So, get this lawls! We actually do have a White History Month, but we’re just so fucking selfish that we decided to branch it off into subcategories (German, Italian, Polish, Italian, etc.) but you know, we’re still going to play the victim role here. Also, you have plenty of history that we either neglect or steal, so we’re just going to not discuss you in any of our history books, but get mad when you actually try to celebrate the history of yours that we’ve distorted.

Source

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Curious

Fact: I like to talk a lot about social justice issues – mainly ones that involve gender but not limited to just this area. And for that, I suppose there are people who might roll their eyes and wish I would shut up and give it a rest already, but I’ll have you know that I’m not constantly complaining all the time. In fact, through a trial and error process, I have learned to choose my moments, decipher the type of crowd I’m in and gauge how receptive they will be to my thoughts and opinions and hope to god that when I do, I won’t be branded a party pooper or a feminazi. I have yet to master the skill of speaking up regardless of what the crowd will think of me though. My blog on the other hand is different altogether, because this is the one outlet I can use to truly express my myself, not without judgement of course, but without having to potentially “bore and burden” people around me with the topics I write about on here.

Having said that, it’s curious to me that people would wonder why it is that I choose to write/talk mostly about the struggles of women. Is it not weirder still that I wouldn’t? And isn’t it even more weird that people would tire of hearing me voice myself than tire of the system that has caused me to raise my voice? It’s interesting to me how people fail to make that association. Maybe I wouldn’t be such a damn whiner if I honestly didn’t have anything to complain about but unfortunately that’s not the case. Consider this: who among us has ever wanted to speak about such things? As Andrea Gibson would say, “What little girl dreams of growing up to write ‘rape poems?’ About violence? About the muffled voices of women worldwide?” To not speak about it is more questionable to me, and really, isn’t that what we should be rolling our eyes at?

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