Posts Tagged With: friends

NYC Round 2

I’m leaving for New York City today!!

This summer I was supposed to make a trip to some place I haven’t been before (I’m dying to go to Greece) with my two besties from Dubai but shit happened and our grand schemes never panned out. Oh well. Here’s hoping next summer will bring a different story.

Anyway, my sister and her hubby are going to visit their friends in Brooklyn so I decided to be the fifth wheel and make something out of my summer this year besides the usual crap I’ve been doing… which has so far been playing PS3 and watching Netflix. Can someone makeover my life please?

Moving on; the last time I made a trip to NYC we were there for a measly 3 days but this time around, we’re going for a week! 😀

So what’s on the agenda? Have a looksie:

– Rockerfellar center
– The New York Public Library
– Grand Central Station
– Empire State Building
– Chrysler Building
– The UN Building
– Flat Iron Building
– Times Square
– The Charging Bull
– Freedom Tower
– China Town
– SoHo
– Little Italy
– Central Park
– National Museum of the American Indian
– Museum of Modern Art
– Metropolitan Museum  of Art
– Museum of Sex
– Water taxi to see the Statue of Liberty
–  Go for a Drag Show
–  See the NYC Gay Pride March

That’s it for now! If we have more time and our able to get up off our asses early every morning then we should be able to squeeze in less touristy things and more New Yorky things. I’m still amazed that NYC is only 10 hours away from Saint John! How crazy is that?

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How To: Confronting Your Prejudiced Friends

It's common knowledge that it's way easier to tell strangers they're acting like bigots, but when it comes to friends, you have already established a degree of commonality and rapport with that person for a reason, and when they say something problematic, it’s hard to just throw all of that out the window. So if you're a bit of a people pleaser like me, how do you go about doing that without completely souring the friendship?

There's been quite a few times when I just can't be agreeable with somebody. Primarily, if a person says something sexist, racist, classist, homophobic or just plain mean. When I talk to them about it, I like to keep things light whilst making my message clear and then either two of these scenario's arise:
1. There's enough flexibility in that friendship where I can state plainly that I don’t agree with what he or she said, and my friend will acknowledge it, apologize, and move forward.
2. Or, they don’t respond well, become naturally defensive, deny or insist upon why what they said wasn't offensive and the conversation goes nowhere.

Typically, people who say something offensive are speaking out of total ignorance. In fact, they don’t even realize just how offensive they are being. If someone habitually behaves in a bigoted manner, it’s unlikely that I would have any qualms about cutting them off. Who really wants to be around a total jerk anyway? So when you correct somebody who typically doesn't behave in a prejudiced way on an ignorant remark, their natural reaction is often that you’re judging or labeling them.

Deejay and social justice advocate Jay Smooth offers a great strategy for how to handle this situation, particularly with people who say something racist. He says it’s important to focus on what the person specifically said, and not to make any statements about who they are in terms of their character. It’s the difference between: “What you just said is racist” versus “You are a racist.” He argues that the former will be more productive, and won’t provide the person with an opportunity to launch into a defense with examples of why they aren't a racist. The latter detracts from what they just did in that moment, and they can avoid considering why they shouldn't say things like that in the future.

As far as strangers, this is where my confrontational side shines. If I don’t know the person, it’s very easy for me to call them out for what they said without much of a second thought only because there’s much less at stake. I like to use these opportunities with strangers to help train me for the stickier situations with family and friends. I’m getting better at confronting and challenging people confidently, but I still have a long way to go.

In the end, as unpleasant as it may be, it’s much, much worse to let prejudice go unchecked.

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Protected: Confession

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Capisce!

Today was my last day for seeing friends! Soon I’ll be packing my stuff and heading back to Saint John.
Ok so not exactly. I only fly back after two days but until then I have put myself under house arrest. I need to get my studying done and the only exception for interruptions will be family who may come by and that’s it.

So here’s a bunch of pictures of some of the things I did and some of the people I met while I was here (unfortunately I was not able to get a picture of me, Eva, Kaye and Ivy) 

Dinner with the family at Asha Bhosle Restaurant

Lunch at Rainforest Cafe in Dubai Mall

The happy couple 🙂

Waiting for the fountain display at Dubai Mall

Segaland

Me and Sharlene at China Valley

Ashani and Arun at Starbucks

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I shopped like a maniac. This has got to be the worst vacation ever, in terms of relaxing and taking a break. There was always something to do, somewhere to go or someone to see everyday and I’m not one of those people who enjoy having something to do every day. I prefer doing nothing on most days so that on the days I do do something, I’m all perked up for it. Orrrr maybe that’s just my laziness talking. Lol. Anyway, I think the best thing I bought so far is my new ghagra! Yaaaay. Lookie!

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"An Unbreakable Vow?" said Ron, looking stunned. "Nah, he can’t have…. Are you sure?"
"Yes I’m sure," said Harry. "Why, what does it mean?"
"Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow…"
"I’d worked that much out for myself, funnily enough."

-Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince

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