Posts Tagged With: feminism



“Why the need for an “I hate other girls” proclamation? Is there some underlying desperation for male approval, some need to prove that you’re so different from all the other girls out there, when all that boils down to is that you’re one of those chicks who just wants dudes to like her? And you do it by insulting and generalizing about other women. And here’s the thing, once you do it, you start to make it OK for everyone to do it. So saying, “Girls are bitches” or, “Girls are shallow and catty” just opens up the door for guys to say those things. It’s one of the ways that society at large helps to keep women down: by turning us against one another, even subtly. And I know that girls who hate other girls are the first ones to say, “Oh, I’m not like that. I’m like a guy! I like guy things, and guys are easier to be friends with.” So you probably shouldn’t be surprised that all those women that you’re being a jerk about aren’t banging down your door to be your friend. Because by saying all of that, you’re being shallow and catty. You’re reducing women to stereotypes while somehow frantically begging everyone not to apply that stereotype to you.”
Persephone Magazine: “Self-Fulfilling Prophesies: The ‘I Hate Other Girls’ Trap”

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they’re fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men — friends, coworkers, strangers — giddy over these awful pretender women, and I’d want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who’d like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them.

Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
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You’re Not A What Now?

These days, well-intentioned suggestions of equality often follow in the footsteps of the phrase “I’m not a feminist, but…”, as if feminism is a disease we want to ensure everyone we don’t have before proceeding. As if feminism and being a feminist is something to be embarrassed about. Perhaps to some it is, but that doesn’t stop us from enjoying the privileges feminism has granted us, so you understand why I find it agitating to see you denounce the very movement that lets us speak so candidly.

Look, I get it. The “f-word” carries a whole slew of  baggage and stigma with it so you just don’t want to be associated with that crap. So when you balk at the idea of calling yourself a feminist, I take a step back and try not to get angry because you’ve internalized that negativity through social conditioning so how can I blame you for that?

But while we’re at it, let me debunk a few myths for you which may help you reexamine your stance:

  1. “Feminists are misandrists.” Actually, feminism is not anti-men. We love men! We think they’re great. All we’re doing is asking them to give us the same privileges they have. We’re by no means trying to take their rights away.
  2. You don’t have to be a bra-burning, no-shaving, “unfeminine” girl to be part of the club. In fact, you don’t even have to be a girl. Admission is welcome to one and all.
  3. “Feminism has an evil and bitter agenda.” We really don’t. It’s just the radical notion that women are people too.
  4. “Feminism exaggerates the facts and is no longer valid since women have already achieved equal status.” Have they though? Can you think of nothing that suggests otherwise?
  5. “Feminism is anti-sex.” Trust me honey, it isn’t. We’re all for it so long as it’s always consensual.
  6. “Feminists are lesbians.” Well, they might be and they might not be.
  7. “Feminists only care about womens-issues.” Not true. We want equality for all colors under the rainbow.
  8. “Feminists are pro-abortion.” No, we are pro-choice. Big difference.
  9. “Feminism demands that women venture outside the realm of housewives.” No, actually we have no issues with stay-at-home moms. It’s your choice to do whatever you want. See how it works?
  10. “Feminists have no sense of humor.” Again not true. Check out Ellen Page. She’s hilarious!

I hope this helps you reconsider your position. And if not, then don’t adopt a label like “humanist” because:

“I am distrustful of anyone who says they prefer the label “humanist” to “feminist.” You’ve heard the argument before. It’s an attempt to downplay oppression against women and avoid acknowledging male privilege. “Humanist” is taken. It has a definition. It’s a life philosophy that affirms humans’ ability and responsibility to lead ethical lives of personal fulfillment guided by reason and compassion rather than supernaturalism. Many humanists are feminists and vice versa but “humanist” isn’t just a word you made up, bub.

Co-opting “humanist” is disingenuous and lazy. Not all humans are on a level playing field. There is inequality between men and women (and among women), and the feminist movement seeks to rectify that along with other transgressions. It was called the “feminist” movement for a reason.”

— Source


And here’s an an awesome video primer on Why We Still Need Feminism:

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You’re A What?

"I'm not a feminist. I'm more of a… humanist y'know? Coz I think all humans are the same and there aren't any differences between us so we should all be treated the same. That's just my philosophy"

Hmm.. is it now?

I am immediately distrustful of people like you.

In an attempt to not appear like a crazy "feminazi", some people will adopt the term "humanist" to convey their message that all beings are one and the same to them. But the fact is that this humanism philosophy is pretty stupid and the reasons for why are very simple:

1. Humanist is a made up term that is both lazy and disingenous. 
2. It downplays opression against women.
3. It does not acknolwedge male priviledge. 

Not all humans are on a level playing field. Humanism doesn't take into consideration inequalities and disparities. Black people experience their lives very differently from white people just as women expereince their lives very differently from men, just as LGBT people experience their lives very differently from straight people. There is inequality between races, between gender identities and between men and women. And guess what? The feminist movement seeks to rectify all these issues and more. That's why it was called "the feminist movement". 

"Humanism". Pfft.. don't make me laugh.

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Hey Everyone: Be More Like This Guy

I’m A Feminist Because:



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Mr. & Mrs. What Now?

It's the darndest thing. I can casually browse the internet and start off watching prank videos on youtube and then end up reading up on Nietzsche. Today was no exception. I was on blackboard, studying my course notes when out of nowhere, while delving into a little side research, I found out that a whopping 50+% of people believe that women should be legally required to change their last name after marriage.

If you didn't catch that; here it is again: legally required.

I feel outnumbered. There are only a handful of women I personally know who haven't changed their names. Most married women do and while this is so loving, so supportive, so giving, why has it never occurred to anyone that it isn't any less loving, supportive or giving for a husband to take their wives’ names? But you don't see that happening, do you?( Perfect example gender double standards)

I was well into my feminist awakening when I first heard the term “coverture.” To sum it up: coverture is the practice of women — and only women! — taking their spouse’s names and is the continued symbolic representation of a practice that was explicitly designed and used to subjugate, oppress and silence women whose identities were wholly subsumed into that of their husbands. 

Somewhere along the way, as years passed and women's rights progressed, this practice stuck on and somehow… it became kind of romantic. But it's only romantic when she takes his name, and not the other way around. Because if he does, well pssshhh… it's coz the dude's totally whipped! (For those of you in agreement with this statement, please click HERE).

More than I loathe the history and practice of coverture and its many continuing cultural implications, I appreciate the fact that women no longer have to do any one thing with their names. Do I wish more women would keep their names, or more men would change, hyphenate or morph their names? Absolutely. I think it would be really exciting if more families and couples felt empowered to decide for themselves what’s best, to decide what makes their marriage or family real for them, instead of simply doing the easy or traditional thing — especially when that easy, traditional thing is steeped in some pretty seriously misogynist history. 

Anyway, that's all the ranting I'm going to do on this topic. Read PART 1 here. 

Now it's back to statistics for me!


True gender equality is actually perceived as inequality. A group that is made up of 50% women is perceived as being mostly women. A situation that is perfectly equal between men and women is perceived as being biased in favor of women.
And if you don’t believe me, you’ve never been a married woman who kept her family name. I have had students hold that up as proof of my “sexism.” 
My own brother told me that he could never marry a woman who kept her name because “everyone would know who ruled that relationship.” Perfect equality – my husband keeps his name and I keep mine – is held as a statement of superiority on my part.

Lucy, When Worlds Collide: Fandom and Male Privilege.

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Not Funny, You Idiot

The amount to which the following image aggravates me cannot be explained:

If I try telling someone that rape isn’t something that should be used as a synonym for other words or used as a joke and that people are triggered by things like that, and they respond with…

  • Comedians tell black jokes so that validates rape jokes.
  • It’s meant to be offensive. Duh.
  • If you care so much about it, why not go out and fight it rather than “yacking”.
  • I’m not trying to demean it.
  • People say "nigger" all the time.
  • I don't care.
  • Chill out, it's just a joke. You're just overreacting.

…instant hate right there. Maybe you should get a little taste of your own medicine and then you'll think twice.

Rape is not funny. It should not be the subject or pun or punchline of any joke. Rape is not what your favorite sports team did to their opponent. Rape is not what you do when you beat or kill someone in your video game. Rape is not what you did when you scarfed your food down. Rape is not what your final did to you in the examination hall.

Rape is the most atrocious act of invasion of a persons body and space, and one of the most disgusting spectacles of humanity. That is the only thing rape is. 

How can you be so thoughtless as to not consider the possiblity of how wrong it is to use that word; as if there is no painful meaning attached to it. Are a few chortles and guffaws worth the potential trigger response you could be setting off in someone else in the room? What if it was that one joke that finally pushed them over the edge? I don’t understand -and I don’t believe I ever will -why anyone wants to be the person who forces that unwanted memory back into the victim's mind while everyone else laughs and laughs.

 As far as I can tell, the “funny” of rape jokes seems to depend on:

1. The same part of the brain stem that thinks farting in public is funny (the one that operates in befuddled and childlike amazement at the explusion of air from the dark depths of your bowels).

2. The assumption that your audience secretly thinks rape isn’t such a big deal and/or is yearning for you to tell them so.

3. Nervous laughter that ensues forth not because it's funny, but because it is now awkward thanks to you.

What you say about rape matters. All of our utterances contribute to our cultural understanding of rape and when we make jokes or perpetuate rape myths like sluts can’t be raped or women always cry rape or nice men aren’t rapists then all we do is make the noise of rape culture louder and the voices of victims and survivors ever more silent.

You have a choice, when you speak about rape.You can make victims and survivors hurt more. You can put justice further out of reach. You can encourage the disrespect and objectification of women. You can further silence marginalised victims, like children (and sex-workers and prisoners and trans-people for that matter) and make it ever harder for those who can face the greatest resistance to telling their stories, like male victims, or those raped by celebrities and ‘heroes’.

Or, you can not.

We have to live with the choices we make including the words we say. You have the right to say whatever, but in doing so you claim responsibility for it and for the consequences of what you said, for you or someone else.

So for crying out loud already, stop it.


"I think the word ‘raped’ gets thrown around far too casually. Ever listen to a bunch of guys playing video games with each other online? It’s like, ‘Ah man you shot me in the back dude. You raped me dude!’ I’m pretty sure if I talked to a woman who’s been through that horrific situation and asked, ‘What was it like, you know, being raped?’ she’s not gonna look at me and go, ‘Have you ever played Halo?’"
– Dane Cook

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Name Change Debate

You get engaged, and after the congratulations, gifts and champagne toasts someone will ask, “Are you going to change your name?”

Over the past couple of years my response to something like the above, when the rare and premature topic of marriage is ever broached, has changed from "Yeah, probably" to "Oh, I don't know" and finally to "No, I won't.”

Majority of people you'll meet will feel that women should change their names. Maybe it has something to do with family unity or an overwhelming case of fuck-my-life surnames ( Tinkle, Schwartzmanberg, Cox, Focker), but I’m pretty sure it boils down to deeply established rituals—like potty training. It’s just something people do. People will expect it and will already start addressing you as Mrs. Sharma, whether you like it or not.

Unfortunately the name-change debate has become a ritual as well. Wedding season rolls around and people spill ink on the subject, swirling the options about like finger paint: hyphenate, hybrid, make your old last name your middle, etc. What a mess!

As for me, I will not go with the flow because it's just easier to take your husbands name. My name is one of the more basic principles of feminism that I believe in. The origins of taking your husbands name were based on property laws and treating women like property, so why would I want to be treated as a piece of property. No thanks, that's not for me.

Lots of guys I know are boggled by how this angers me. When asked if they'd take their wife's surname, the idea is usually scoffed at. "No way", they say. "That's not how it's done" or  "My name is what makes me who I am. I can't do that".

Well gee, now you know how I feel.

I was reading up on this and here was one of the top reasons for changing your name:
If you're planning on having children, you'll find life is much easier when going on trips (especially when traveling internationally), dealing with schools, and even just dealing with other parents, if you're easily recognizable as being one family. Many brides find that having the same last name as their husband helps them feel more like a family, and a new name is an important symbol of the journey they are embarking on together

Easier you say? Nothing productive comes from taking the easy road children.
Having the same last name is an important symbol of your journey together? Ok, I can see that but why can't we apply this "important symbolic logic" to men taking the last name of their partners? Yeah, you know why.

My question is: what about us? Why are we the one's who always have to accommodate? This even applies to women getting married to men of a different faith. I don't know anyone in my family who is male and converted to the religion of their wife. That just never happens (not like it should in either case anyway). It's so extreme sometimes too; I've heard of women converting to the denomination their husbands are under even if it's the same faith. Why? Because it's easier.

Anyway, I digress. To me, changing my last name would be taking apart what encompasses me. My identity is dissolved, and just like that, I'm betrothed to a name I may not even like. Choosing not to take my husband's last name does not mean I'm being difficult. It does not make me an 'angry feminist'. It means standing up for what I believe in, asking to be equal and choosing to step away from traditional roles that just tie us down, suffocating us with old fashioned do's and don'ts that don't even apply anymore.

Wake up people. It's time for change.

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Ah yes. Because who wouldn’t like violently assaulting people for daring to make their own decisions about sex and sexual partners?

Oh right. People who aren’t total assholes. My recommendation? If any of you ever see one of your Facebook friends liking shit like this, unfriend them. And then send them a message telling them exactly why you’re unfriending them, because this shit is unacceptable and life is stressful enough without exposing yourself to people who think this is okay.

Violence in general isn't funny, but something as sexist and disgusting as "throwing bricks at sluts" is definitely not humor. It's not a joke. Jokes are funny. This is far from funny. This is a perpetuation of rape culture, violence against women, and judgment of people who dare to have sex or be sexual. Do you know how many women are raped or are victims of attempted rape? 1 in 6. It's pages like this that perpetuate rape culture. Why should women be shamed for partaking in sexual activity?

You know what else is awesome – the public stoning of women accused of committing adultery. Hell, let's all encourage the dehumanization of sexually liberated women!
This slutshaming just pulls women back into the Victorian ages. Yeah, let's throw bricks at women so we can make sure we all keep our legs closed because god forbid we should sleep around like the men that don't get bricks thrown at them. Why don't you stone homosexuals and people who work on sundays to death too? That's productive and progressive.

If this is your sense of humor, that is what you’re perpetuating. Funny, huh?

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