The Nice Guy Syndrome

Last weekend, I had a very bad experience with a guy who had a serious case of “The Nice Guy Syndrome”. To put it simply, The Nice Guy pretends to be your friend so that he can eventually wheedle his way into your pants. Suffice it to say that I have cut all ties with said Nice Guy but I think it’s important that I bring to light this very prominent issue. Most Nice Guys don’t think they’re wrong, and this was true in my case. He didn’t even realize his mistake. Only when I called him up and gave him a tongue lashing did he consider how wrong his actions were and acknowledge that his behavior was extremely disturbing. Unfortunately, I highly suspect his apologies were given only for my benefit. I don’t think he believes he did anything wrong.

Definition: Nice Guy Syndrome is an annoying mental condition in which a heterosexual man concocts overly simplified ideas why woman aren’t flocking to him in droves. He will whine about how women never want to date him because he’s “too nice” and that women only want to be with guys that treat them like shit. In reality, he isn’t very nice. His “nice deeds” (like taking you out, helping you with your daily activities, being a “friend”) are motivated as attempts to passively please women into a relationship/sex. In short, his niceness is self-interested, and it contributes to his sense of entitlement when it comes to dating and sex.

What Nice Guys fail to realize is that girls don’t want to date a jerk, and when they do, it is accidental and not become of some weird desire to be treated like crap (and don’t bring up girls who go back to their abusive partners – abuse is complicated and not related to this). They just want to date guys that are genuinely nice. What women really want in men is a whole other topic which I won’t post about since I’ll digress and plus, this is already circling the interwebs.

So here it is. The raw, real truth. 

Are you listening?

The truth, Mr. Nice Guy is this…




You’re a prick who could have been rejected for many reasons, but I’m going to say it’s probably because you’re a misogynistic asshole. Maybe if you quit being a jerk, more girls would go for you. And even if they don’t, you still don’t have a reason to call them bitches who don’t know what’s good for them. Instead of looking at why they are the problem, examine yourself and see what it is about you that’s making them run in the opposite direction. Take a freaking hint!


Also, I’m all for shaming “nice-guys” like this:

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2 thoughts on “The Nice Guy Syndrome

  1. Hey Sharon, excellent post! It’s sad that there are so many bitter men out there who take it out on others. They feel entitled to women simply because they’re “nice” and don’t put themselves out there. Then they blame everyone when they don’t get what they want.

    Thanks for the shout out.

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