That’s So What Again?

I was browsing through the book store at my university and two guys in the aisle in front of me were having a very interesting conversation. Being the little creeper that I am, I listened in. What I was eavesdropping on was very curious; one of the guy’s whined to his buddy that he looked like a "gay tomato" after having been out in the sun for too long, which resulted in him having a bad sunburn on his back.

How do you look like a gay tomato?

I mean, I understand if you look like a tomato because you’re red all over, but I have never seen a gay tomato. I feel like taking an adventure now in pursuit of this elusive "gay tomato". Maybe once I come across it, I’ll understand what he meant.

I wonder, does it look like a gay pear? Or a gay apple? Do they all look similar or is one somehow more gay than the other?

Moral of the story: saying "That’s so gay" doesn’t make you sound the least bit intelligent. In fact the minute you say it, I have you pegged for an idiot. Whether you’re using it because it just comes out, and you don’t really think about it, or you are trying to be rude – learn to be aware of it. Be aware of it, and delete it from your vocabulary. It’s not cool. It’s not smart (because really, how can a tomato be gay?). It doesn’t make you look better than everyone else. And most importantly, it doesn’t pronounce how straight you are to the world. Suck on that you douches.

Think before you speak.

Another thing that makes no sense is when two guys (or girls) say: "I love you! " And then…"No homo". You don’t need to say "No homo".. it’s okay, I doubt they were trying to convey their affection for you in that way. If it was your brother’s birthday, you wouldn’t say "Happy Birthday! Love you bro. Oh, and no incest". If  you had a dog, and you were proclaiming your love for it, I doubt you would then say "No bestiality". You wouldn’t need to say that because that’s obviously not what you’re talking about.

So. stupid.


"My silence towards the idiot is indeed an answer. I am not at a loss for a response but rather, It does not befit the lion to answer the dogs."

—Imam Ash-Shafi’i

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