Fellow women of the world,
We need to be nicer to each other.
I find girls who say they “like hanging out with guys more because girls are catty” incredibly irritating. No, you extremely misunderstood individual, you just haven’t met the right kind of girls that suit you. Don’t just write off the entire gender based on some less-than-pleasant encounters. And that’s not the only reason why they’re irritating. For starters, they tend to say it to anyone who will listen. Also, they often claim it’s because dudes are “just easier to get along with”—a sexist assertion that all women should reject lest they too want to be unfairly written off as gossipy, jealous, competitive, judgmental and uptight on the grounds they have a vagina.
Fortunately, I’m hearing less of this self-hating, boys-are-cooler hoo-ha. But every now and then a “guys vs. girls” friendship story rears its ugly, headline-grabbing head, forcing all my rage to the surface. Take this Salon article, “Guy Friends Rule,” for example. While the writer of the piece isn’t claiming to prefer male friends over female friends (she’s merely suggesting that friendships with men are underrated), she does, unfortunately, try to make her point by reinforcing ridiculous gender stereotypes. Read below:
“If I want to get my nails done, I’ll call a lady. If I want to talk about motherhood, I’ll call another mom. My guy friends, on the other hand, will hang out for an entire evening and never once mention anything to do with feelings. If one of them forwards me an e-mail, there’s an 85 percent probability it involves “Star Wars” and zero chance it contains a quote from Maya Angelou. My guy friends have never asked to split an appetizer because they were really trying to stay in the Zone, nor looked at me like I was a war criminal for ordering dessert. And while I’m no fan of sweeping gender generalizations, I will note anecdotally that if you’re the sort of woman who finds fart humor hilarious, you will never lack for male companionship.”
I’m not sure why this woman rolls with people she doesn’t even seem to like, but that’s no reason to make gross assumptions about Every Girlfriend Ever. Unlike her, I don’t have a single lady friend who quotes anyone to me over e-mail, let alone Maya Angelou (and for that matter, I don’t have guy friends who forward me Star Wars shiz). And, yeah, me and my girls may enjoy the occasional mani/pedi date—but it’s not like we’re holding hands across the salon chairs, sorting through emotions. We’re just as likely to be talking politics, finances, our next career moves—and even farts—as we are to be sharing feelings.
Miranda: Men—wait, let me rephrase that—some men…
Carrie: Good move, counselor. That will look much better on the court transcripts of this dinner.
— Sex and The City